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This really resonated with me. I still often think about just letting it all go and detransitioning. I don't really believe in redemptive suffering, but I do believe in fate and duty. It's hard to see how it could've been different for me personally, but choosing this was still a struggle, still difficult, still the right thing to do

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From Simone Weil's Notebooks:

Ποικιλόθρον᾽ ἀθάνατ' Αφρόδιτα, παῖ Δίος δολόπλοκε, λίσσομαί σε, μή μ' ἄσαισι μηδ᾽ ὀνίαισι δάμνα, πότνια, θῦμον.

"Deathless Aphrodite of the many coloured throne,

Daughter of Zeus, weaver of spells, I entreat you.

Do not with grief and anguish

Tame my heart."

- Sappho, Hymn to Aphrodite, tr. Read

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